Why We Love : The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love | Helen Fisher

Why We Love : The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love | Helen Fisher | Memorable

books:

Why We Love : The ...

	Why We Love : The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love Helen Fisher, 2004 - 320 pages average customer review:based on 34 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

A groundbreaking exploration of our most complex and mysterious emotionElation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession?these are the tell-tale signs of someone in the throes of romantic passion. In this revealing new book, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher explains why this experience?which cuts across time, geography, and gender?is a force as powerful as the need for food or sleep.Why We Love begins by presenting the results of a scientific study in which Fisher scanned the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love. She proves, at last, what researchers had only suspected: when you fall in love, primordial areas of the brain ?light up? with increased blood flow, creating romantic passion. Fisher uses this new research to show exactly what you experience when you fall in love, why you choose one person rather than another, and how romantic love affects your sex drive and your feelings of attachment to a partner. She argues that all animals feel romantic attraction, that love at first sight comes out of nature, and that human romance evolved for crucial reasons of survival. Lastly, she offers concrete suggestions on how to control this ancient passion, and she optimistically explores the future of romantic love in our chaotic modern world.Provocative, enlightening, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to the age-old question of what love is and thus provides invaluable new insights into keeping love alive.

for more information click here

speculative, but a brilliant attempt.

This book suceeds on two levels. First, it is scientifically rigorous, though speculative. (those who accuse Fisher of being a popularizer obviously have never read her technical journal articles, nor other articles on this subject by researchers. She is no more speculative than they.) Second, it is existentially enlightening and empathetic. Fisher does not just wish to share her scientific insights into romantic love, she wishes to let you know that she feels your pains and joys. She wishes to explain and understand.

Fisher begins by laying out the basic external and internal manifestations of romantic love. What does it do to people? Here she is spot on. It causes us to focus our energy on the beloved, endow that person with special meaning, increases our energy, etc. Most importantly, it causes obsessive, intrusive thinking. We can't go a minute without the object of our desire popping into our head! Now, I am not a betting man, but I am sure everyone can relate to this description.

After describing the basic characteristics of romantic love, Fisher discusses the possible neural underpinnings that cause such intense feelings. She speculates that humans have three different systems: 1)Lust. This is mostly controlled by testosterone. This drive causes one night stands and other stupid behaviors us men seem to excell at. 2) romantic love. This drive is caused by increasing dopamine levels stimulating 'pleasure centers' in the brain. Specifically, the ventral tegmental area, caudate nucleus, and probably the nucleus accumbens. Romantic love probably also involves an increase in norepinephrine and a decrease in serotonin. The last is worth a brief explanation. It is well known that increased levels of serotonin are correlated with a sense of serenity, good moods, and an ability to inhibit behavior. So, would it not make sense for romantic love to raise levels of serotonin? No, actually it would not. Serotonin is known to be very low in people who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. Does this sound familiar? Indeed, people who have early-stage romantic attachment are very obsessive. It seems that the drop in serotonin is partially responsible for our wild inability to control our thoughts during this intensely emotional stage. 3) attachment, or bonding. This stage seems to be modulated most by two very important peptides: Vasopressin and Oxytocin. Both of these peptide/hormone/neurotransmitters are responsible for creating pleasurable sensations and feelings of calm. They are also known to be the causal forces behind pair bonding in rhodents. Humans are certainly more complex than rats, but evolution is very conservative. It is reasonable to postulate these peptides as important players in the pair bonding game.

After dipping into the scientific goo, Fisher speculates on the evolution of our three mating drives. Why do humans have three? Lust evolved to spread our genes far and wide. It is the drive that makes us seek partners on the quick. Romantic love evolved to bring indviduals close together for longer periods of time. In humans this is important because we have systems of biparental care where both parents are vital in ensuring the survival of offspring. The pair bonding system probably evolved for the same reason as the romantic love system, except humans needed the bonding part to stay together during the long stage of infant development. The longer a man stayed around to provide his child with resources the better.

There are many more details, speculations, and findings reported in this fascinating work, but you will have to read it for yourself.

Personally, I am amazed at the explanatory power of Fisher's synthesis. I remember pining long hours (days, months) over many pulchritudinous young women. Some got so stuck in my noggin that I couldn't concentrate for weeks. I thought I was going mad. It seemed to me at the time that the best description of the feeling was addiction. That is, I felt like I was consistently being shot up with a powerful drug and if I didn't get my fix, I would go crazy. Hence the obsessive attempts to be around my crushes. How pathetic I was!! Yet, when I read Fisher's work, I realized love is like a uber-powerful drug. Dopamine is scandalous in its workings. How much heart-ache and bliss have our neurotransmitters caused us? How much irrational poetry and music?

To understand this feeling will not help you feel happy when you are rejected, nor will it take the pleasure away if you fall in love. It may, however, give you some peace of mind and put things into perspective.

Great book!

for more information click here

Memorable

There was a lot of detailed scientific information that was actually quite interesting to learn about and also to retain. A lot of the things I read in here I've never forgotten. It gets into physical chemistry - pheromones, neurotransmitters, the big role that the neurotransmitter dopamine plays in love, as well as the hormone oxytocin (in females). Anyway, I'd highly recommend this to anyone interested in dissecting why we're attracted to certain people and the chemicals our brain releases when we are in love.

Summer Reading for Scientists!

Essentially this is a scientific thesis paper that has been adapted into Nonfiction, Helen Fisher gives us concrete information about why humans love and how they can keep that love strong through the ages. The findings from her studies Informs us on the evolution of humanity and how the brain works. This is used to supplement the theory that humans are biologically hotwired for romance.

I thought this was a great read, particularly if you are confused about your own love life or feel jilted by previous relationships. The Analytical framework makes the information easy to swallow, and the cornucopia of romantic quotables that Fisher uses is staggering, and wonderful. A very light read and highly accessible. And a nice chaser if you have been reading too much Cormac McCarthy.

for more information click here

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

products you might be interested in