We Don't Live Here Anymore | Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern

We Don't Live Here Anymore | Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern | Tragic and heartbreaking; one of the purest and most effective looks into the lives of the married...

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We Don't Live Here...

	We Don't Live Here Anymore Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern Warner Home Video, 2004 average customer review:based on 59 reviews view larger image
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Jack and Terry. Hank and Edith. They're married couples and best friends with much in common. Jack and Hank are professors at Cedar County College. Terry and Edith are stay-at-home moms. And Jack and Edith are secret lovers. Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern, Peter Krause and Naomi Watts play the interlocked foursome, pushing their characters into uncharted realms of anger, confrontation and lust - and making decisions that might or might not let love slip away.

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True to form couples' drama

This film never makes excuses for its infidelity but instead shows the humanity of it. The characters are not only caught between love and lust, but between unfulfilling love and idealistic love. All actors are solid and the script is airtight. I appreciated the interpretation of these short stories and the direction smartly focused on the emotional throughline. Mark Ruffalo and Laura Dern share some great scenes, and prove that they can pull off any role.

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Tragic and heartbreaking; one of the purest and most effective looks into the lives of the married...

There is something so hauntingly real about `We Don't Live Here Anymore' that you end up walking away from this movie feeling dirty; like a sinner. I remember the first time I watched this I wept because I felt every ounce of pain and regret and fear and guilt that was running through the veins of the characters on the screen. I remember that I felt those same feelings when reading Andre Dubus' brilliant novella's that inspired this film (all of which can be found in the compellation work `We Don't Live Here Anymore'). Director John Curran marvelously brought to the screen one of the finest films I think ever made about marriage and relationships and the tragedy of the affair.

The reason I mention that you feel dirty when watching this film is that the characters, as horrible and unsympathetic as they are, are truly relatable in the most complex and emotional ways. Jack feels lost in a marriage he doesn't want. He feels like his wife doesn't work for his affection anymore; that she's grown complacent. Terry feels neglected and unwanted, unloved and alone. Hank, drifting away in his own little world, doesn't cherish Edith the way that he should because monogamy is not something he believes in. Edith, feeling neglected and slighted, seeks out the affections of a man who truly desires and values her. Each character, flawed as they are, is real and grounded. This has a lot to do with the performances by the very talented cast, but I'll get to that in a moment.

So the film follows the torrid affair between Jack Linden and Edith Evans. Jack is married to Terry and Edith to Hank, and the four of them are all great friends. It's apparent that Hank favors Terry and she has obviously fantasized about him as well, but she would never cheat on her husband unless she was coerced. When Jack and Edith's affair is uncovered by Terry that is just what happens. Jack, in an attempt to squash his own guilt, protests that she should give herself to Hank. This of course spirals down on all four of them as their actions end up crushing them in the end.

Mark Ruffalo has always been an actor I saw great things for. He has somewhat stayed under the radar for most of his career but her performances are never less than mesmerizing. As Jack he truly gets under the skin of his character and brings his all too real emotions to life. Laura Dern (screen goddess for many) delivers a brilliant performance here as well. As Terry she is immediately the most sympathetic of the characters. She is not the one in the initial affair and she truly loves her husband. In the end we feel as though these events have scarred her deepest. Peter Krause delivers a fine performance as Hank, but the film seems less interested in him than anyone else in the cast. We are aware that he is struggling to write something important, to right something he loves and that he is more invested in his work than his wife but he never seems to be too important to us.

The real standout in this lineup is inarguably Naomi Watts. This actress is just superb in everything and the more I see her the more I am convinced that she is our next Kate Winslet (my screen goddess!). As Edith she creates such a real and emotionally connected character. Yes, she adulterous and we should be repelled by her actions, but the regret and guilt that racks her soul is enough to bring anyone to their knees. There is one scene in particular, when Edith retreats to her bedroom after a tryst with Jack and lays upon her bed, and on her face is etched these sincere and moving expressions and pain and fear, regret and agonizing guilt and every time I think of that one scene I'm more convinced of her never-ending talent.

In the end we can't help but think of the poor children who of course suffer more than anyone else when a marriage falls apart. There is a beautiful scene towards the end with Jack and his two kids that is moving and memorable and moralistic for a film of this nature.

I have complained before with a similar film (not really all that similar) about the `preachy' aspect of that said film. What I love so much about `We Don't Live Here Anymore' is that it doesn't beat you with its preconceived notions on the matter or adultery but rather allows you to decide for yourselves who is in the wrong, who is being wronged, who is suffering the most, so on and so forth. We are shown these four characters and are exposed to their lives and their actions and that is all. There is no monologue explaining the woes of cheating on your spouse. There is no moral dictated to us at the films conclusion. We are shown these characters with all their warts and moles in clear view and we are asked to decide for ourselves what we think of them. This is a beautiful way of allowing the audience to become one with the film and find themselves amidst the chaos.

One thing that is clear by the time the credits role is that these marriages were over long before the affairs were started. When I think of the title `We Don't Live Here Anymore' I can't help but relate it to that feeling you have when you're disconnected from the one you are supposed to love indefinitely. It's almost as if you don't live in the same home anymore. You sleep in the same bed, under the same roof yet you feel as though you aren't really there.

That is the point of this film.

Affairs don't break marriages; broken marriages start affairs.

`We Don't Live Here Anymore' is a very difficult film to get through, especially if you've ever been the victim of an affair. The film is gritty and very real and so emotions are bound to stir. If you feel as though you can make it through this one I feel you'll be glad you did. It's one of the purest and most remarkable looks at the mystery known as marriage.

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She Blooms She Blooms and in May So Hurt

"She blooms she blooms and in May so hurt" Mark Ruffalo's Jack says to Naomi Watts' Edith as they make their way into the woods to make love for the first time, starting their affair. "In May I was alone," she answers, referring to her husband Hank's infidelity. So rare are films that show characters change (some too little too late, but at least they finally come to it). Probably the most beautifully scored film I have ever seen - the singular cello and fluttering piano notes blend through like a transparent, delicate cloth, and sounds from one scene often flow over into the next, causing a beautiful, dreamy continuity. Look for reasoning of what is underneath the affairs of these four characters instead of the affairs themselves. Yes, the affairs are tragic and destructive, but it isn't enough to simply judge them on their actions and call them immoral. These are people who love their children and are reaching out for comfort because they are suffering, (parallels are made between Jack and the character in Tolstoy's Death of Ivan Ilyich, the book Jack is teaching) and the guilt is all there too, Jack vomits on a run with Hank when they near the spot in the woods where he and Edith made love, and guilt is particularly within Edith (Watts' portrayal here is so devastatingly real) who is so incredibly wounded, the trust in her marriage broken way before she and Jack reach out to each other for comfort, love, support - something they aren't getting from their partners.

The mismatch of each couple is underscored by their lovemaking with each person with their marriage partner - I found the sex between the marriage partners to be the most uncomfortable and difficult thing about the movie to watch - distorted and desperate - the sex between Edith and Hank is ugly and detached, but the sex between Edith and Jack is sexy and fun and represents perhaps what a marriage should be. Terry and Hank seem to be the odd people out in this film - the clueless Hank is emotionally distant - depressed, frustrated writer - and brags of his affairs, (Krause is so wonderful in this role and I have enjoyed his other work as well) and Terry is retreating with alcohol, her attempts at repairing her marriage rebuffed and undermined over and over by Jack. Terry is the only character who seems to be able to communicate her frustrations openly (they are justified and true) albeit in a destructive manner sometimes, and has no real interest in having an affair: her sex with Hank in the car is just that, the act itself with no real emotion behind it - more of a revenge for Jack's affair with Edith and also an attempt to get Jack to care. Terry is continually trying to reach out to her husband to make things work (this is one of Laura Dern's most brilliant performances). Edith is locked down emotionally: in one scene she is asked why she won't stop Hank from giving Terry a ride home: "I don't know," her lockdown brilliantly underscored by the appearance of crossing signals throughout the movie, but see what you think. I also feel that the last shot of the film is left ambiguous, while offering a more concrete view of what point Hank and Edith have come to. The camera work and scoring in this film are unique and unusual, and the lovemaking between Ruffalo and Watts' characters is packed with heat; spontaneous, sexy and intimate. The movie was filmed in various locations in Vancouver, BC, which adds to the intimate atmosphere and small-town imagery. Other notables: interesting camera work, overlaying of scenes, and the kids (who sometimes actually steal the show) are absolutely adorable. Also listen for parts of Beethoven's Symphony #1 throughout as well.

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JOHN CURRAN, OPUS 2

*** 2004. Based on Andre Dubus's We Don't Live Here Anymore: Three Novellas, WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE was directed by John Curran. A prize at Sundance for the screenplay. Two friends, two couples, two sordid affairs. The film is very depressing and is only worth a look if you're interested in the problems of married couples and that's also unfortunately its limit because John Curran is not Ingmar Bergman and never manages to give a universal dimension to his script. Already forgotten.

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