Dracula 3000 | Erika Eleniak, Udo Kier

Dracula 3000 | Erika Eleniak, Udo Kier | Not quite as bad as I had expected, but still...

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Dracula 3000

	Dracula 3000 Erika Eleniak, Udo Kier Lions Gate, 2004 average customer review:based on 50 reviews view larger image
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A salvage ship on a routine mission discovers a transporter vessel that had been reported missing 100 years earlier. When the salvage crew boards the vessel they discover 50 long black coffins. In the blackness of space where the sun never rises the ancient curse that this mysterious cargo carries begins to eliminate the crew one by one.System Requirements: Running Time 86 MinFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre: HORROR Rating: R UPC: 012236167181 Manufacturer No: 16718

chezzy and cruchuizy

although its a low budget horror flick. i enjoyed dracula 3000. its based in the future were a starship salvage team comes across a diralect ship and board. and thats when all hell breaks lose. starring casper van dien, Coolio, and Erika Eleniak. i wont spoil the rest but you will never guess the ending.
a found it to be a great late-night stay up and watch half asleep kind of movie.

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Not quite as bad as I had expected, but still...

I got a copy of this from a friend who got a kick out of it, so I decided to check it out. I really didn't expect much, as this type of story has been done to death and beyond. But, in all honesty, when something like this comes out, it's almost as if some producer has gobs of money to throw away, so they throw a bunch of disparate ideas together, assemble some actors and special effects people and let it fly.

The first thing I thought of when the movie started, was '...this idea has already been done, look at "Jason X"...' But, since just about everything is derivative of something else, I went on ahead. I expected a vampire story, but the "3000" in the title implied a futuristic setting. In the aforementioned "Jason" movie, a 20th century villian is projected far into the future, and save for some funny dialogue, it is an inane (not "insane," but inane; silly) premise, one that doesn't work. Here, a man named Van Helsing, who knows nothing about the vampire legend, is singled out by Count Orlock in a personal vendetta. This strains credibility, because in the original Brahm Stoker story, Van Helsing was his rival back then, as well. I think if my name were Van Helsing, I would have a clue when a person on my crew is found in an altered state, with bite marks on his neck. But I give kudos to the writers using the "Orlock" name in the script, because that is the alternate name for the vampire when F.W. Murneau directed "Nosferatu" way back in 1922. I have this on VHS, and it is superior to many of its namesakes in every way, particularly this updated train wreck. I will try not to make this a "Nosferatu" review, but some things have to be clarified. The script says Transylvania is a planet, okay, dumb an idea as it is, it seems they were adapting it to the Space Age. It was supposed to be a planet inhabited only by vampires. They live on human blood, they need it to survive, but why is an ancestor of Captain Van Helsing blamed for the demise of an entire planet? It seems that, given time, you would just use up your resources and die off. "Nosferatu" had the victims die off from blood loss, and the only people who lived, were the ones only partially drained of blood. The Black Plague was to blame. Rats played a role in it, because when Orlock arrived in Bremen in the 1922 story (and the novel as well), a rat-infested ship was his transportation. Flea bites spread the illness. Turning this into an entire planet in deep space just doesn't work; it's almost like "let's make a vampire story for a Star Trek convention!" And adding a Hip-Hop element doesn't work either. Coolio, here, is everything that perpetuates the black racist stereotype. A black guy with funny hair, who acts like a total goof, stoned on weed all the time, talking dirty and lusting after the blonde, white woman, really doesn't help the cause of people say "...we're not all like this." But, people are afraid to criticize something like this, in our age of Political Correctness. They're not like that, we all know this, but if you were a script writer, and white racist at that, and wanted to insult the black culture, how would you do it? You would write a script like "Dracula 3000." Shame on you people.

There is some funny dialogue here, and a good point comes up in the story. In the year 3000, the characters have no idea what a crucifix is; God, Jesus, et cetera, are unheard of. And if the ACLU and similar organizations continue to sue everyone except the Muslims, this will be a reality. Because eventually, EVERY faith-based belief system will be thrown by the wayside. The people here naively call a crucifix a "plus sign." Of course, the cross, when you read everything into it, is supposed to mean so much more than just a design to thwart this presence. The scripture calls the Father and Son "The Light." This is why sunlight is such a weapon. There are a lot of Christian connotations in the original story. Impaling with wood? That was what Jesus' cross was; wood. The blood, especially in the Old Testament, was what held the life itself. Old Testament law forbade ingesting blood, period. So, using earthbound methods from yesteryear, in space, in the year 3000, is anachronistic.

There's no way the film makers were trying to take themselves seriously here. To aim the ship for a binary star system, to get a double-dose of sunlight to guarantee the death of any and all on-board vampires, and have one of the sexually frustrated crewmen have a quickie with a fembot, just before impact and the ship's destruction, killing all on board, seems to say to the audience, "Hey, we're just kidding here!" If this joke was intended, I got it, and this is what earned this movie a second star from me. Otherwise, it just seemed like a worthless, dumbed-down Sci-Fi adventure story, with a supernatural element thrown in for good measure.

I actually expected a lot worse, but that doesn't mean "Dracula 3000" is all that in the first place.

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