House of the Dead | Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso

House of the Dead | Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso | This movie was created for Mystery Science Theatre 3000!!!!

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House of the Dead

	House of the Dead Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso Lions Gate, 2004 average customer review:based on 334 reviews view larger image
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A group of teens arrive on an island for a rave--only to discover the island has been taken over by zombies. The group takes refuge in a house where they try to survive the night. Studio: Lions Gate Home Ent. Release Date: 08/30/2005 Starring: Jonathan Cherry Clint Howard Run time: 90 minutes Rating: R Director: Uwe Boll

Come on...this is a fun movie

I seem to be one of the very few people who found this movie entertaining.Why?It doesn't look like a cheap,low budget production.It's filmed well.The acting is good and it has great fx.I think people watch it expecting it to be something other than what it is.Be advised.It's not a "serious" zombie movie,but it's not a comedy either(although director Uwe Boll has a re-edited version that is supposed to be a straight-up comedy.Haven't seen it).A zombie action movie is the best way to describe it.I've never played the video game it's based on and I only recognize a few of the actors(Jurgen Prochnow:"The Seventh Sign",Ellie Cornell:"Halloween"4&5,and Clint Howard:Creepy looking but very good character actor),but it has 3 things I like...

1)Zombies.It has both the slow-as-molasses-but-will-still-kill-your-a$$e$ kind(for you zombie purists)and also the faster-than-nascar-so-you-aint-gonna-get-far kind(which I prefer).

2)Wild action/fight scenes.This is pure video game style shoot'em up action.You have hot babes in tight outfits using martial arts to battle the undead.You have guys and gals with grenades,machine guns,shotguns,pistols,machettes and swords trying to survive as the risen dead open up a large can of zombie whup-ass.

3)Excellent special effects.There is no cheap stuff here.you have zombies being blown to pieces,shot and chopped-up.You have people being chewed-up,spit-out and torn in half.ZOMBILICIOUS!!!

Short story...Kids invited to rave party on secluded island.Crusty old boat captain takes them to island.Rave is deserted with signs of violence.So what.Beer kegs are full and there are plenty of tents to make-out in.UH-OH!!!Zombies are very prudish when it comes to sex,so they start with the killing.Much zombie carnage and destruction.Will the humans escape? Who lives and who dies? Who is the mysterious figure raising the zombies? Do you even care? Yeah well...see the movie anyway.It's good.

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This movie was created for Mystery Science Theatre 3000!!!!

House of the Dead is a story of friends with intentions of going to the "Rave of the Year", but end up starring in one of the worst movies of all time. If this movie wasn't specifically made for Mystery Science Theatre 3000 ridicule, then it was created with intentions of breaking the cinema scale of unintentional comedy.

Narrated by dim-witted protagonist Rudy, the friends fill out the cornucopia of stereotypical horror movie: Greg, the hormonally hyper best friend; Simon, the superficially idiotic third wheel; Cynthia, the blonde who serves as cannon fodder; Alicia, Rudy's ex-girlfriend who provides the unnecessary pointless love side-story; the Asian chick wearing a red, white, and blue spandex outfit (conveniently named Liberty); and a token black chick with a ROBOTIC.ACTING.DELIVERY.

The group is attempting to get to a remote island rave on Isla del Muerte, which translates loosely in Spanish to "Site of the Lamest Rave ever". They hire a gun-smuggling German ship-captain named Captain Kirk - yeah, Cpt. Kirk - to take them to the isolated rave for $1000 on an island that will henceforth be named "Thousand Island". Captain Kirk, and his first-mate (Clint Howard), take the group to the island, where previous scenes displayed a Sega-sponsored rave, where, naturally, there is at least one big-breasted Asian chick hired for some topless dancing.

In no time at all, a guy named Matt dies a deserved death for the travesty of wearing white penny loafers, and full-frontal, gratuitous nudity fills the time before the inevitable zombie attack wave. It's also clear early on that horny kid = dead kid, and skinny dipper = dead kid. Meanwhile, there are completely random and pointless insertions of video game footage - as if a viewer needed to be reminded about the inspiration for such insipid nonsense.

When the attack finally happens, the viewer quickly learns about the unique abilities of this island's zombies. After Simon utters, "Simon says" - a phrase no person named Simon should ever say - he learns that some zombies can spit face-disfiguring acid roughly five feet. Simon says, get that man some aloe vera! Along with acid-spitters, there is a swarm of completely coordinate zombies that can climb, swim, and use weapons. When the pop-out of the water during surprise attacks, the group engages in two compelling games of Whack-a-Mole, blasting each swim-team zombie as they surface.

The rest of the movie explores the hunting and killing abilities of the zombie axe-throwing gymnastic team (you have to see it to believe it), zombie track team, and Gallagher Zombie - a man who has fallen on hard times since the price of watermelon has skyrocketed - chase down the group, Cpt. Kirk, and a female shore patrol officer named Casper who has a magic pistol with unlimited ammo refills.

This is easily one of the best bad movies I've ever seen, and there isn't a single second that goes by without the potential for unintentional comedy and MST3K fun. Highly recommended!!

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