Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage | Donna Frazier, Susan, Ph.D. Forward | Helped!

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Toxic In-Laws: Lov...

	Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage Donna Frazier, Susan, Ph.D. Forward, 2001 - 304 pages average customer review:based on 26 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Toxic in-laws are family members who create genuine chaos through various assaults -- aggressive or subtle -- on you and your marriage, and they can be recognized in a wide variety of guises:

"The Critics," who seldom miss a chance to tell you what you're doing wrong;

"The Controllers," who try to run you and your partner's life;

"The Engulfers," who make incessant demands on your time;

"The Masters of Chaos," who drain you and your partner with their problems, expecting you to be their rescuers, and

"The Rejecters," who wound you deeply by letting you know they don't want you as part of their family.

And the longer that conflicts with these in-laws remain unresolved and not dealt with effectively, the more damaging these conflicts and people will become.

How to recognize and stop these destructive patterns

Now, from bestselling author Susan Forward, comes a remarkable self-help guide that is both practical and powerful. She draws on real-life voices and stories of women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful, and infuriating relationships with their toxic in-laws. What makes in-law problems uniquely difficult is that they are part of a triangle -- you, your in-laws, and the person you married. One dynamic of these destructive relationships is that you often feel as if you are in the middle of a powerful tug-of-war for your partner's loyalty. And the hurt from your partner's lack of support is often more painful that anything your in-laws do. Forward shows you clearly how your in-laws manipulate your partner. This new clarity will help you feel less bitterness and far more empathy toward him or her so that you can begin the vital process of protecting your marriage.

Strategies that work

First, Forward offers you highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won't or can't stand up to their parents. Her unique methods allow you to defuse the anger and feelings of betrayal that flare up when a partner won't defend you. Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim your marriage from your in-laws. She shows you what to say, what to do, and what limits to set. If you follow these strategies, you may not turn toxic in-laws into the in-laws of your dreams, but you will find some peace in your relationship with them. Most important, you will reclaim your dignity and self-respect, and reconnect more strongly than ever with the one you love.

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Helpful in sorting out priorities in a difficult circumstance

As a general rule I am not a fan of using the word Toxic. But, when the shoe fits.... This book is very helpful and provides realistic tools that can be used to help strengthen the foundation of a marriage under duress from meddling in-laws. In a messy situation, this book brings focus back to what is really important...the marriage.

Helped!

This helped my son whom has this type of inlaws and makes them easier to tollerate!

Stuck With Toxic In-Laws? You're Not Alone

Susan Forward is not a brilliant writer but the spirit of her writing is so sincere I'm inclined to forgive the lack of sparkling prose. The strength of this book is in the many stories of marriages threatened by in-laws who don't know their job is to BACK OFF. In my own experience and in my practice, I've seen a lot of different examples of toxic in-laws but it's still validating to see these stories in black and white. Sadly spouses often do need reminding that their first allegiance is to their wife/husband. That realization may need time (and relationship counsleing) to evolve, but what Susan Forward confirms is that unless and until this shift of priorities happens you're not married, you're just playing house.

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Toxic in-laws

This book is ok enough. I liked other books by Susan Forward better, like Toxic Parents. I didn't find the help in this book that I needed and felt it was a bit stereo type problems. Could have been more general advices included. Also I think some of what she writes about forgiveness is totally wrong. Forgiveness is not about condoning the other persons actions, but about you letting go of the resentment and anger towards this them. I believe forgiveness is an important step in the healing process. Read books by Louise L. Hay if you are interested in seeing things different and get done with the past.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

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