"I'm telling you, we're just friends."
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for "friendships" that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
So greatful for this book I just finished this book and what a Godsend. I found out my husband was having an emotional affair on March 31st of this year. An old high school girlfriend Googled him and they'd been talking for six months. He saw her in Feb. when he went to visit his brother for an ice fishing trip and they were planning on meeting in April for "more". About a month after he started talking to her I noticed he was distant, but thought it was because we'd just celebrated our 20th anniversary and things were getting old. Little did I know "she" entered the picture. On Jan. 1st I suspected he had a gf, but he called me crazy and paranoid. After reading this book so many things made sense and I was able to make sense of the mess my marriage had become. He claimed he never intended for things to get out of hand and they were "just friends"at first. He told her we were having problems and he put up a wall between us and opened the window for her (this is in the book). My H has always had such strong morals and good character. He badmouthed everyone we have ever known to cheat, but here he turned around and did the very same thing. Of all people I TRULY never thought he would do this. The only problem I had with the book is that the affair partner is talked about as being a single woman. In my case the other woman is married and has kids the same age as mine. She didn't plan on leaving her husband until her youngest was in college (in 5 years). She was ok with my husband meeting her 3 or 4 times per year until then. This woman is also a churchgoer, provides daycare in her home, prepares peoples taxes, lives in small town MN, was a soccer-mom, etc. I'm guessing she was bored and needed some excitement. Too bad she didn't realize that my husband made things sound so wonderful on the phone and online. Maybe if they lived with each other they would have realized that life is much more than what we can make the other believe. My husband and I are trying to get our marriage back on track, but it's so hard because he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. From reading the book I understand this is natural for the betraying partner, but I need to talk and figure this stuff out. I asked my husband this week to read two of the last few chapters hoping he will understand my point. How am I to have compassion for him, as discussed in the book, if he doesn't have much for me?
