The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World | Marti Olsen Laney

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World | Marti Olsen Laney | A Book That Brings Introversion Out of the Shadows

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The Introvert Adva...

	The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World Marti Olsen Laney Workman Publishing Company, 2002 - 330 pages average customer review:based on 99 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

At least one out of four people prefers to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in large groups, and requires lots of private time to restore their energy. They're introverts, and here is the book to help them boost their confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world.

After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."

The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.

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This is an eye opening book

I really learned a lot about myself. This book breaks it down in plain simple to understand terms. It describes how and why you do the things you do. It shows how to relate to extraverts and how you look to them. It also shows you have to deal with introverted children and extroverted lovers. It gives you clear, and easy to do advice on how to deal with social siturations. This is the best book for introverts or those who know and love introverts.

A Book That Brings Introversion Out of the Shadows

Just recently, someone I greatly respect was denigrated by a third party, simply for being "an introvert." Never mind that this man's career path practically demands the ability to "think deep thoughts" alone, to study for hours on end, and to project a public image of quiet reflection. It was his natural reticence that drew the criticism - the aversion to noisy crowds, in which it is difficult to follow the thread of a conversation. The demands of a shallow public. In spite of his many talents and abilities, this man was practically labeled "antisocial" because he's not a natural at glad-handing.

Introverts get a lot of this. Ask ten people to explain what introversion is, and you'll get ten completely different explanations. On one end of the spectrum, you'll get people like my mother, who saw introversion as something close to godliness. As a daughter, I was a dream come true for Mom, who was quite shy. "You don't need lots of people around," she'd say. "You're independent - not like those other kids who always need crowds and noise." Well, yes, those qualities can certainly give a teenager clear advantages, not the least of which is a resistance to peer pressure. But plenty of teenage introverts isolate themselves from healthy relationships, allowing neuroses to incubate. They grow up to be Ted Kaczynskis or Jeffrey Dahmers.

On the other end of the scale are those who see every introvert as an antisocial psychotic. Our tendency not to self-disclose readily attracts suspicion, distrust, even fear in some who grew up differently.

The truth behind introversion is a combination of upbringing and brain chemistry. As a child (with no siblings to boot), I already knew that our family was a trio of individuals who were easily overwhelmed by crowds and noise. But that didn't explain why I felt a periodic need to run back into the house and sit alone in my room when a half-dozen friends and I had congregated for an ordinary afternoon at the local playground. There were no words to explain that feeling of being overwhelmed by sensory input - of needing a quiet respite to sort it all out before going back for more. My mother's praise of my "independence" didn't extend to being "rude."

It was only a couple of decades later that a friend made reference to the "battery" analogy - extroverts begin to feel depleted when alone for too long, and need the company of others to recharge, while introverts feel their equilibrium draining away with too much social and verbal interaction. That was the first time I'd discerned any understanding of this "eccentric" side of myself, and it spurred me to learn more about it. Marti Olsen Laney's book goes a long way toward explaining these factors.

Laney often writes from a personal perspective, and for some readers, this may detract from the overall effectiveness of her message. I found the biggest weakness in the book to be some of her advice to parents of introverts. In some instances, one gets the impression that introverts are not just a statistical minority, but a rather fragile and precious subgroup who need to be handled with kid gloves. Surely I'm not the only introvert who's tired of being approached with caution.

Beyond this one shortcoming, I would recommend The Introvert Advantage to any reader who still views introverts in one dimension.

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Interesting

This is a pretty good book, especially the parts that talk about what goes on the brain. The rest is pretty lite reading but interesting.

Incisive treatment of introversion

An incredibly interesting read on the nature of introversion from several vantage points--biology, psychology, sociology, etc. Laney makes her vast research extremely readable and entertaining. She debunks the myths (or misunderstandings) that introverts are taciturn, anti-social and reclusive. She highlights the positive qualities of introverts and advises how they can play to these strengths. While introverts are the primary target audience for this book, it is also helpful reading for extroverts in that it will help them understand more fully how we introverts think, interact and function. Highly recommended.

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