Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex |...

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex | John Gray | Talk about engaging....You must learn about your partner in this manner

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Men Are from Mars,...

	Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex John Gray Harper Paperbacks, 2004 - 368 pages average customer review:based on 390 reviews view larger image
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Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow.

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"A Classic"

This is among the best books that I have read on building loving male-female relationships. I gained valuable insights about men and women and this helped me to understand my moods and actions and those of my wife. I could clearly see myself being vividly described by the author. I can plainly make out where I need to change to become an understanding and caring husband without being as I always tended to be "Mr Fix-It" when my wife talks about problems or issues bothering her.

I now appreciate the value of cherishing my wife to motivate her. I no longer get surprised when I hear women expressing their feelings through various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations. I now know that men and women communicate differently; they love, think, feel and perceive things differently as though they are from different planets. The book provides useful and helpful problem solving techniques that have greatly helped me in my relationships with women.

I would like to thank John Gray for helping me to learn that my differences with my wife are normal and that the difficulties we have often experienced in our relationships have also been experienced by other couples and that these differences, when understood, help to cement strong and lasting relationships.

I, therefore, highly recommend this classic which highlight strategies for reducing tensions in relationships and strengthening love through recognizing differences between men and women.

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Talk about engaging....You must learn about your partner in this manner

This book is brilliant at best! Gray's philosophies keep you engaged while teaching you the simpler way of understanding your partner AND yourself.

I have learned much about myself as well as the Martian in my life. I didn't feel so alone since many people obviously go through the same experiences.

A compliment to any relationship in life!

Merna Throne

Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!

This Book Will Work For You because....

I read this book as a proactive measure to gear up for a permanent full time commitment. I can say that most of the sample phrases inspected in this book have been hurled at me, or hurled by me at one time or another, in relationships I've had long before Mars/Venus was published. If I had known then the info provided in this book, I'd probably be married with the kids going off to college by now.

But let's look at why I think this book will work for you. It's been over fifteen years since this title came out. (I remembered people lampooning and dismissing it when it first hit the market and became a sensation) This book could be seen as part of the movement in the nineties where men became the kinder/gentler men we see all around us today. I'm aware that not everyone wants to be seen as or wants a kindler gentler man. But in the course of men becoming softer in the nineties, women made an accompanying move towards a hardened masculinity in the whole "grrrls rule, boys drool" attitude. As a result, the gender lines between respective behavior have been blurred considerably. Anyone could pick up this book today and see a little of themselves described on both planets.

There are helpful ideograms presented here (men=rubberbands, women=waves, men go into and returning from caves, women descending into and arising from their wells). It's all about cycles and rhythm, and believe it or not, men have their own too. The importance of communication and how and when to say what are tools everyone should have in steering clear of an argument, a major relationship killer. The anatomy of an argument is also analyzed in detail. The book ends with how to ask for support and a useful psychological revelation: when you feel safest and loved, painful memories from the past will surface. It shows you that you may mistakenly attribute those painful feelings to your partner when you shouldn't.

There is also an effective chapter on the subtle linguistics of asking.

There's bound to be many knee-jerk reactions from readers all around. People have continued to oppose this book based on the stereotypes it makes, not on its effectiveness. I for one, am very resistant to self-help books. I have returned advice books for refunds and even hurled some at the wall in disgust.

What's important for me is that books, like movies, music, news, and peer-pressure work collectively to shape who we are and how we behave. Since the publication of this book, its advice and examples have worked itself into the consciousness of how partners (in a certain socio-economic group) behave, express themselves, and interact with each other. I can't count how many times I've heard some of the phrases in this book uttered between friends who are in relationships. Even though many have not read the book, they are utilizing variations of its examples in their every day speech.

With divorce rates ever on the increase, I'm quite certain if you were to walk away with 10% of the information presented in this book, regardless of which gender group you culled the advice from, you would have already disproportionately increase the probability of your relationship succeeding.

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Some Insightful Thoughts, but some Stereotyping!

A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.

John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.

John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.

Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.

Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.

Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.

Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?

This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.

Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!

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