The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By | Dan P. McAdams

book: The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By | Dan P. McAdams

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The Redemptive Sel...

	The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By Dan P. McAdams Oxford University Press, USA, 2005 - 400 pages average customer review:based on 1 review view larger image
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Who are we as Americans? What is our deep identity? How do we make a good life? Renowned psychologist Dan P. McAdams suggests that the key to American identity lies in the stories we live by. And the most powerful life story in America today is the story of redemption. On a broad societal scale and in our own private lives, we want first and foremost to transform our suffering into a positive emotional state, to move from pain and peril to redemption. American identity is the redemptive self.
Based on 10 years of research on the life stories of especially caring and productive American adults, The Redemptive Self explores the psychological and cultural dynamics of the stories Americans tell to make sense of who they are. Among the most eloquent tellers of redemptive stories are those midlife adults who are especially committed to their careers, their families, and making a positive difference in the world. These highly "generative" men and women embrace the negative things that happen to them, for it is by transforming the bad into good that they are able to move forward in life and ultimately leave something positive behind. Unconsciously, they find inspiration and sustenance in the rich store of redemptive tales that American culture offers - from the autobiographies of Massachusetts Puritans, Benjamin Franklin, and escaped African-American slaves to the stories of upward mobility, recovery, fulfillment, and release that come to us today from Hollywood, 12-step programs, self-help experts, religious stories, political speeches, business gurus, and Oprah.
But can all American lives find redemption? Some people seem unable to make their lives into redemptive tales. Instead, their stories show contaminated plots and vicious cycles. Moreover, might there be a dark side to the redemptive stories Americans love? While these stories can sustain a productive and caring approach to life, they can also suggest a peculiarly American kind of arrogance and self-righteousness. For all their strengths, redemptive stories sometimes fail, and sometimes suggest important failings in the way Americans see themselves and the world. The Redemptive Self encourages us to examine our lives and our stories in full, to apprehend both the good and the bad in the stories we live by. By doing so, we may fashion better stories and better lives for the future.

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Let's Be Good as Well as Look Good.

We are taught in America that every individual is unique and special. The quest for distinctiveness knows no bounds today. We even look for our specialness in the terrible things which happen in life. In this new "age of enlightenment," we need to transform our suffering into positive emotionnal states, to move from pain and peril, even after our trust has been betrayed, to redemption. Mainly, we have to work through our sorrows, thereby transforming the bad and the good so as to move forward in life.

We may not all be able to leave something positive behind, but at least we tried, and that's what is most important. We didn't give up and wither away in our grief. I found (when Miran died in a fire) that weepingk sobbing, crying openly helped, but there is no way to bring our loved one back from the dead. Our goal should be to keep her memory alive in our hearts and remember the times she touched your heart and showed unconditional love, which children do automatically to those they trust. After a sudden, unforeseen dath of someone you love, you can and will learn to make adjustments to move ahead. You have to, you can't stagnate as others need your inner strength and outer devotion, too.

You can't keep that person alive in your memory as you must let go for your own self-preservation. God sent that preson into your life for a purpose. There is not one single individual we can hang on to forever, though we may want to with all our heart and soul. It's not meant to be. As we age, we change on the inside as much as the outer appearance. We can't all be beautiful on the outside as lovely five-year-old Miran, but we can be loving and loveable on the inside. The good and true inner self wins out. It shows in the eyes.

Although Emerson writes of "great men" and "genius," he directed his words to the everyday farmers, businessmen, and professionals who enjoyed the relative prosperity and the freedoms of living in America during the years leading up to the Civil War. The Emersonian self of idealism and optimism has its down side as he tries to portray the inner self as dark, secretive personnas; instead it controls out actions by guidance and inspiration. Freud believed that theres was no purity or innocence, no simple truth within. His thesis that the deeper, t he uglier it got. He was wrong. Not all of our actions are caused by sexual desire. We can control our urges or shameful secrets of the soul. He had an Oedipus complex, but that doesn't mean we all do. He was "pleasure" oriented and felt that the past cannot be undone.

We are a victim of heritage and our circumstances, which can be improved by effort. The American idea that everybody is above average comes from a Public Radio Show, Prairie Home Companion. The idea is evoked with charm and humor in Garrison Keillor's stories of Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, where "all women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." That could cover all of the small towns in the United States and parts of the larger cities. It is not the American dream to look pretty and aim to be above average. We strive to be first class in every way and learn to overcome obstatles. Strong women are good at that, and always have been. He didn't mention that strong women can also be beautiful. All blondes are not dumb, and white hair give one a sense of destiny and determination to show their innate abilities to adapt. Life can be beautiful by the Sabres, a California men singers group from the Sixties.

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