Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged...

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With ... | Heather T. Forbes | No to tough love

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Beyond Consequence...

	Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With ... Heather T. Forbes Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC, 2006 - 127 pages average customer review:based on 39 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control covers in detail the effects of trauma on the body-mind and how trauma alters childrenÂ?s behavioral responses. The first four chapters help parents and professionals clearly understand the neurological research behind the basic model given in this book, deemed, Â?The Stress Model.Â? While scientifically based in research, it is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with severe behaviors. The next seven chapters are individually devoted to seven behaviors typically seen with attachment-challenged children. These include lying, stealing, hoarding and gorging, aggression, defiance, lack of eye contact, and yes, even a chapter that talks candidly about how parents appear hostile and angry when they work to simply maintain their families from reaching complete states of chaos. Each of these chapters talks in depth on these specific behaviors and gives vivid and contrasting examples of how this love-based approach works to foster healing and works to develop relationships, as opposed to the fear-based traditional attachment parenting approaches that are being advocated in todayÂ?s attachment field. The authors end with a Parenting Bonus Section. True testimonials from parents who have been able to make significant changes in their homes with this model of parenting, giving real-life examples of how they have been able to find the healing, peace, and love that they had been seeking prior to working through the techniques outlined in this book.

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Excellent and practical

This book is very well written. The author is very well-versed on the therapy he advocates for children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. Our daughter's Attachment Therapist agrees with his methods and found them very easy to apply, especially with younger children. Consequences that work with the average child, do not work with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The author clearly acknowledges this and gives insight into alternatives.

No to tough love

We have been so indoctrinated with the "Tough Love" approach when our children get tough that it is hard for us to believe a different way can work. Heather makes us look at the risks of tough love and gives us good reason to look to the fear beneath the child's behavior and see that tough love only increases that fear. The child needs connection not disconnection in order to feel safe and once again regulated.

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Good for all Parents & Teachers to read

I bought this book after hearing others speak about it. I think every person who works with children in some capacity or is a parent should read this book. Yes it is primarily geared to those kids with more severe behavior challenges, but every kid at some point "acts out". This book (and her website) give great insight on why kids act out and how to handle it instead of yelling or punishing in traditionals ways. No more time outs! Try a time in :o) The reason I don't give it the 5th star is because I think it could use a few more "how to handle scenarios".

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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