Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan | Cynthia Whitham

Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan | Cynthia Whitham | Read this before you but your child on Meds!!!!

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Win the Whining Wa...

	Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan Cynthia Whitham Perspective Publishing, 1991 - 208 pages average customer review:based on 10 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

This easy-to-use guide helps parents increase cooperation and reduce conflict in households with children ages two through 12. Parents learn how to eliminate the tantrums, teasing, dawdling, interrupting, and complaining that drive them crazy.

Inspires Cooperation

"You may have chosen to be a parent, but you did not choose to give up your mental health in the process. I believe parents have a right to no-fuss mornings, tear-free bedtimes, low stress errand-running and time for themselves." ~Cynthia Whitham

Do you want to learn how to stop: whining, tantrums, dawdling, bad language, name calling, teasing, spitting, biting, talking back, interrupting, complaining, sulking and fighting, this is your guide.

Cynthia Whitham is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in parent training. She also gives workshops for parents, teachers and therapists. She uses the ideas in this book at home with her own children.

Cynthia makes an excellent point about children finding negative ways to get attention. She recommends complimenting the good behavior and seeing if that helps change the situation.

"The more positive attention you give, the better things get."

This is a very organized book. Not only can you organize the behaviors you love, dislike and want to stop, you can also pick them right off a nice list.

I also loved her ideas of "do say and don't say." There are things that will encourage a variety of behaviors you might not want to encourage even when you are being positive. This has to do with sibling rivalry and making a child successful at the expense of others. Being compared to your brothers and sisters just isn't fun.

You will also see the value of:

Making praise a habit.
Making Big Tasks Manageable
How to use "Ignore" to the best advantage.
Offering choices (oh, this is a good one and it works)
Making a better behaviour chart
Setting limits
Time-Out
Battle Plans

This book presents practical solutions to everyday problems. This is an excellent resource for parents, grandparents, teachers, babysitters and day care workers.

According to Cynthia, "spanking and screaming" are not options you have to engage in. You can really focus on the positive aspects and see amazing results.

Highly Recommended! 20 Stars!

~The Rebecca Review

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Read this before you but your child on Meds!!!!

My husband and I first became familar with this book when we attened a parenting class at UCLA which Cynthia Whitham taught. It was based on the principles of this book. Our son, four, at the time was diagosed with ADHD. After appling the things we learned from Cynthia in everyday life, our son was re-tested and found not to have ADHD. I believe it's commonly misdiagosed and this book really gives you the tools to handle a child that might just need firm limits and not medication. I belive this book is a must for EVERY parent. I have recommended it and passed it on to various friends for 3 years now. If kids came with an manual this would be it!!

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an excellent book on parenting

This book is an excellent resource for parents and educators alike. Written in clear simple language the book offer practical solutions to everyday problems we face with young children. Principles of behavior modification are universal and apply to all ages, however, specific techniques vary. In Win the Whining War book Ms. Whitham offers both, theory and practice. For the last ten years I've been recommending this book to my patients' parents with consistent success.

Good but techniques need to be combined with the ideas from "Setting Limits"

This book has the idea that if you ALWAYS ignore bearable but unwanted behavior, it is discouraged and wil decrease. Intolerable behavior, that which must end is described as that which threatens the safetly of yourself and others (ex. playing with matches, etc.).

Although I am sure that ignoring leads to a decrease in unwanted behavior, it needs to be coupled with explaining to a child what NOT to do as well as what is expected of him or her. This book does not teach the child what not to do, but expects the child to decrease the behavior, not because they are told or explained why that behavior isn't tolerated but because she will be ignored.

The author believes that EVERYTHING the child does is an attempt to attract attention (which is not necessarily so) and that if you withdraw that attention, the child will stop doing it. This is a good technique to use in some situations. However, some intolerable behavior needs to be explained to children and have consequences as well. For example, I have to teach my kids what not to touch around the house and don't believe that ignoring them when they touch something that might break will end that behavior. They are doing it out of curiosity, not necessarily to call on my attention. It is important to identify when a behavior is a call for attention and when it is not, so you know when to follow this book and when to apply a different technique.

The book "Setting Limits" is great in helping to avoid repeating yourself as well as raising your voice in order to be "heard" and not "tuned out."

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reviews: page 1, 2

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