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Son Rise: The Miracle Continues | Barry Neil Kaufman, Raun Kaufman | A sharing
 
 


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 Son Rise: The Mira...  

Son Rise: The Miracle Continues
Barry Neil Kaufman, Raun Kaufman

HJ Kramer, 1995 - 372 pages

average customer review:based on 29 reviews
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     highly recommended  highly recommended



In 1979, the classic best-seller Son-Rise was made into an award-winning NBC television special, which has been viewed by 300 million people worldwide. Now, Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues presents an expanded and updated journal of Barry and Samahria Kaufman's successful effort to reach their once "unreachable" autistic child. Part one documents Raun Kaufman's astonishing development from a lifeless, autistic, retarded child into a highly verbal, lovable youngster with no traces of his former condition. Part two details Raun's extraordinary progress from the age of four into young adulthood. Part three shares moving accounts of five families that successfully used the Son-Rise Program to reach their own special children. An awe-inspiring reminder that love moves mountains. A must for any parent, teacher or student of personal growth. Do you ever wonder why things turn out the way they do? I do. Every so often, I ask myself why an event in my life occurred, if maybe it had some sort of purpose or reason. I realize that, in the larger scheme of things, I can never really know why events happen or if there is some sort of grand plan for us all. I do believe, though, that each event offers us a brand new chance to change ourselves and our lives, whether the change is slight or sweeping. Even if we can't know whether there is some great cosmic reason for the workings of the world, we can still give events meaning with what we do with them. When I was diagnosed as autistic (and also severely mentally retarded, with a below-thirty IQ), my parents were given ample opportunity to treat the event as a tragedy. The whole world saw autism as hopeless and encouraged my parents to see it that way too. Sometimes it dawns on me how close I came to spending my life encapsulated inside my own head, lacking the tools to interact with the rest of the world. My autism could have been just another event without meaning or explanation. What turned it around was not a string of events, but rather a wildly different and unheard of perspective: Refusing to accept the age-old view of autism as a terrible catastrophe, my parents came up with the radical idea that my autism was a chance - a great opportunity, in fact - to try to reach a child lost behind a thick, hazy cloud. It was a chance to make greatness out of something commonly viewed as unquestionably sad and tragic. This perspective, combined with a passionate relentlessness on the part of my parents, enabled me to undergo a spectacular metamorphosis and emerge from the shell of my autism without a trace of my former condition. When I think about what my parents did with my autism, I see what a tremendous role we all play in each event that confronts us. It was not my recovery that made the event of my autism amazing and meaningful (though, needless to say, I'm very happy with the outcome); it was my parents' open-minded attitude in the face of my condition and their desire to find meaning in it regardless of how I turned out in the end. You don't have to "cure" your special child in order for his or her specialness to have meaning and value. The value lies not in "results" but in how you treat your situation and your child. The question of what is and is not possible has forever been bouncing around in my head. I have definitely had a few times in my life when I chose not to bother attempting to accomplish something because I thought, "That's impossible." At other times, I catch myself thinking this way and realize that it is precisely this type of thinking that could have landed me in an institution for the rest of my life. If there is one thing my life has taught me, it is that anything is possible. I don't mean this idea in the superficial way it is often used. I mean to say that nothing is beyond our reach if we honestly believe that it is within our power to reach it. I've found that I, rather than any external situation, am my own biggest limiter. One line that parents of special children hear more than anyone else is the "that's impossible" line. The "experts" showered my parents with prognoses like "hopeless", "irreversible", "unreachable" and "incurable". All my parents had to do was believe these "experts" (not a difficult task, since these doctors had plenty of evidence to back their opinions), and my journey would have been over. Instead, my parents defied the professionals, disbelieved their prognoses, and grabbed hold of the belief that they could at least try to do the impossible, reach the unreachable, cure the incurable. "But your son has a devastating, lifelong condition. He can never come out of it" the doctors scolded. "So what?" my parents would reply. "We're going to try, anyway, and see what happens." The word expert is the misnomer of the century. The pessimistic outlook that the "experts" show many parents need not be taken seriously. Whatever you've been told about the severity of your child's condition, don't buy it. You and your child can do a whole lot more than any "expert" could possibly know. No matter how much evidence a doctor can show you, it will never be enough to prove that something is impossible. You want to know something? Evidence is a sham. It can always be defied or demolished. If you really believe in evidence, use it to prove the possible instead of the impossible. (I'm on the debating team at my college, and I've seen how evidence can be used to back up either side of an issue.) Many, especially the "experts," might claim that I am advocating "false hope." "False hope"? What do they mean by "false hope"? How in the world can anyone put these two words together? When I think about my successful academic career, my fierce tennis matches, my love of Stephen King novels., the fantasy and science fiction short stories I've written, my admittance to the university of my choice, my best friends, my girlfriend, and my complete and ecstatic involvement with life, it occurs to me that each and every one of these is the product of "false hope." Nothing can ever be bad or wrong about hope. Not ever. I advocate giving yourself and those around you as large a dose of it as possible. So, I bet you're wondering what this product of "false hope" is doing with his life lately. Well, I'm enjoying college (I'm in my sophomore year) more than any other period of my life. I'm having a thoroughly terrific time choosing my own courses, living away from home, eating school food (yum!). I take courses like philosophy, political science, theater arts, and biology. I took calculus during my freshman year. Definitely not my calling. In addition to enjoying the social and academic scenes at college, I'm also on the debating team, I take ballroom dancing, I'm in a coed fraternity, and I'm in a number of political groups. I recently cast my first presidential vote after working for my candidate's campaign. (I won't say who I voted for, but you can probably guess.) Here are the answers (and only the answers) to the questions I get asked most often: No, I can't stand "Beverly Hills 90210." Yeah, I'm an excellent driver. Actually, I'm majoring in biomedical ethics. Oh, my career after college? I haven't the foggiest clue. No, I only spin plates during really boring physics lectures. Sorry, I'm busy this Friday night. Speaking of questions and answers, I have talked with parents of special children from many different countries and throughout the US, and I've had the chance to answer scores of their questions and ask some questions of my own, as well. They all want the best for their child; they all have a strong desire to help their child in any way they can. Many of these families also see their own or their child's situation as horrific. In addition, they want to be "realistic" and not pretend that their child's situation or potential is better than it actually is. It makes perfect sense to me that parents would think this way, but there are other ways of looking at things that might be more productive as well as more fun.

Personally, I see autistic children as possessing a unique talent and ability, not a deficiency. When this talent and ability are embraced instead of viewed with horror, some amazing things can happen. Kids can make leaps people never thought possible. As for being realistic, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Very often, I wonder how I can be realistic and optimistic at the same time. How can I have boundless hope and aspirations and still keep a down-to-earth perspective on things? Well, many times I can't. Sometimes I choose realism, and when I do, I can always be sure that nothing that happens will exceed my expectations. But when I choose limitless optimism, I don't put any ceilings on my dreams and goals, and, as a result, sometimes I get more and do more than I ever could have accomplished by being realistic. The telephone, the automobile, the polio vaccine - the people who brought these things into being were extremely unrealistic. Realism only preserves the status quo. Nothing was ever accomplished by a realist. Every great discovery and achievement in history is the fault of unrealistic people. My parents' lack of realism is what got me to the place I am now. Consequently, I try never to tell anyone around me to be realistic. Sometimes, when I think about the continuing savage violence around the world and the pervasive racism in America, I have a hard time being optimistic. Plastered all over my wall in my dorm room are pictures of Bobby Kennedy, my favorite person in history. War and racism were also major concerns for him, but he never let the state of the world bring him down. So when I think of the things I want to be different in the world and I think about being unrealistic and I think about hope, I try to keep a quote of Bobby Kennedy's tucked in the back of my mind: "Some see the world as it is and say, 'Why?' I see the world as it could be and say, 'Why not?'" You can always say, "Why not?" when you're told you can't accomplish something. You can always say, "So what?" when evidence is presented against your dreams. You can always say, "It's possible" when you have a different vision for your child. Your potential is limitless, so don't give up. You have more greatness than you might think.


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This book taught me not to be afraid, allowed my dd to love

When my daughter was diagnosed with autism at 22 months, I was depressed and scared. I did search after search and read method after method for treating autism. Nothing "felt" right. The therapies based on behaviorism seemed to rob children of dignity. Then I found the Option Institute website.

I read all they had published online and got the rest from the library system. After reading their autism books, I felt I understood what I needed to do to help her. I would have liked to go to their program, but there was no way I could leave her to attend.

I implemented my understanding of their program. You know what? Within two months she said, "I love you, Mommy." It was the first time in my parenting journey I had heard my child say that. That was eight years ago. I did the program alone for about six months. She did great. Now, she is not "cured." She is doing very well, though.

I was driven to look for the book again, as my four-year-old son was diagnosed with autism this week and I'm feeling that thing that parents feel when they get this news (again).

For those who say Son-Rise is about money, you can read this book at the library and get help. How much does that cost? You can pay the $10 or $15 for the book here on Amazon. You are out $10 to $15. If you read the book and want to go to the center; go for it. The people I know who have done that feel the money was well spent.

For the reviewer who wants the name of a child who was cured, I'd give you mine, but it was not a complete cure. I am going to go back and start a program again with her (what the heck, I'm going to do a program with my son, anyway). When we started my self-designed program based on Son-Rise, my daughter made no eye contact, couldn't look in mirrors, had no communicative speech, and no normal response to stimuli. We saw huge changes within the first week. I still get emotional when I remember her telling me she loved me for the first time.

I thought I was providing a loving, nurturing environment for her before son-rise, but her remarkable progress with son-rise showed me she needed more. It was amazing how, when she would bite her arms and I would bite mine in response, she would stop and look at me and be able to move on to something better.

This book, and others by Kaufman, taught me not to be afraid of autism. The program advocated in this book allowed my daughter to keep her dignity and learn to join the mainstream.


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A sharing

Son-rise the miracle continues gave me hope. All hope was drained away from me when we were given the diagnosis of ASD. As a result of reading this book we took our son to the Autism Treatment Center of America.

This treatment changed our lives forever. Ewan went from a boy who spoke on 2/3 word sentences to now where you can have a wonderful conversation. He is in mainstream education and doing well. This is beyond my wildest dreams.

Give yourself an opportunity of a win/win situation.If you read the book you may decide this is the program for you. A winning situation. You may decide you don't like what you read. Again you win because you discovered something you don't want.


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Transformation through Son-Rise

Son-Rise has made an incredibly positive impact on my family. After our son was diagnosed with autism, my husband and I read this book and began implementing its attitude, strategies and methods. As an attorney, and wife of an engineer/business executive, I am moved by evidence and data. In those early weeks, our son began to respond, play, and talk with us. We had our proof and it was miraculous! As we studied and practiced the Son Rise principals more purposely, our son's eye contact, language, and social skills have blossomed. He is nearly fully recovered!
What's more, my husband began applying what he read in this book and another of Barry Neil Kaufman's books, Happiness is a Choice, in the business realm. As a result, my husband is quickly rising to the top of his profession.
I have found reading these highly enjoyable books to be like spending time in the presence of extraordinary people; very uplifting!



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This book helped our family.

We bought this book when we started a Son-Rise Program 8 months ago for my step-son (now age 11), and have been blessed by the story. I still read excerpts from time-to-time as a pick-me-up and use it to train the volunteers in our Son-Rise Program.

My step-son was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder at age 2-1/2, with that diagnosis updated to Autism Spectrum Disorder at age 9. Before we started our Son-rise Program, he would sometimes speak when forced, but then only with 1-2 words; eye contact from him was rare and fleeting, and usually because we forced him to look at us; his frustration and confusion resulted in daily tantrums and screaming fits sometimes he hit himself on the leg or threw things.

We tried everything else first because that's what "everyone" said to do (including SSRIs and anti-psychotic medications prescribed by his developmental pediatrician for off-label use, chelation therapy, speech therapy, ABA therapy, Floor Time therapy, OT, PT and PECS) and none resulted in appreciable improvement, while some made him more withdrawn or frustrated. Our son has responded to Son-Rise like nothing else. So far (after 8 months of 25-35 hours a week of Son-Rise Program) he has more spontaneous use of language, has started imaginary play, started initiating play with others, increased his spontaneous and requested eye contact. He plays with toys with his 16-month old sister. Two days ago I had my first conversation with him ever, consisting of three "conversation loops" of 4-5 words each. His father and I have been able to build a relationship with him and expect him to continue to emerge from his inner world. His personality continues to come out--he likes to try and make us laugh.

If you have an autistic or special needs child, or work with autistic or special needs children, and want another point of view of the possibilities for them as people then give this book a try. We are grateful that the Kaufmans have shared their story and ideas through this book and the other Barry Neil Kaufman books because of the way our lives have been enriched.

We no longer see our son as a tragedy. He is a great blessing to us and we feel lucky that he chose us to be his parents.


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Concrete detail, spiritual effect. Get this book but get a hanky first.

Kaufman's book, which includes the original book "Son Rise" about the Kaufman's autistic son Raun before age 4, continues the story about Raun until he goes to college and the Kaufmans set up their institute to help other families with children with severe developmental problems. The treatment the Kaufmans devised for their son was based on a philosophical, spiritual premise that people can use to face any serious dilemma in life. The book is just amazing. Kaufman's distinctive style has literary merit. I recommend this book not only for people with a disabled child but all people.


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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6



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