Mothers and Their Adult Daughters: Mixed Emotions, Enduring Bonds | Karen L., Ph.D. Fingerman

Mothers and Their Adult Daughters: Mixed Emotions, Enduring Bonds | Karen L., Ph.D. Fingerman | Disappointing

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Mothers and Their ...

	Mothers and Their Adult Daughters: Mixed Emotions, Enduring Bonds Karen L., Ph.D. Fingerman Prometheus Books, 2002 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 2 reviews view larger image
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The mother-daughter tie takes on unique characteristics as daughters enter midlife and mothers enter old age. Incorporating vivid descriptions by mothers and daughters about their relationships, author Karen L. Fingerman addresses both the rewards and the difficulties these women experience in maintaining their relationships into old age.

Based on interviews with forty-eight mothers over the age of seventy and their adult daughters, Dr. Fingerman begins with an overview of this relationship, which, she points out, can be distinguished from other social ties by the strength of the mother-daughter bond. She then discusses the positive features of this bond and various theories about its social and psychological nature. This discussion is followed by an examination of problems encountered between mothers and daughters. This last section looks at reactions of mothers and daughters to tensions, conflicts, communication problems, and other difficulties.

This excellent study will be of interest to every mother and daughter and to those who study this very special relationship that lasts a lifetime.

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A Touching and Perceptive Look at Mother-Daughter Relationships

Karen Fingerman has chose to examine the quality of the mother-daughter tie during "an under-researched period of the life span -- when daughters are grown and have entered midlife, but their mothers remain healthy."

Fingerman's book is much more of an academic read than a popular book, but it's likely to appeal to some of the readers who have helped to put other mother-daughter books (most notably Nancy Friday's book My Mother, My Self) on the bestseller lists. Her book includes chapters on the joys and challenges of the mother-daughter relationship, dealing with conflict, and recognizing the ways in which the mother-daughter relationship evolves over time.

Fingerman is at her most compelling when she dares to write about the unspeakable -- how mothers and daughters manage to deal with the fact of the mother's mortality. In describing her most recent visit with her mother, one of the 48 daughters interviewed in the book describes about how increasingly bittersweet the mother-daughter relationship becomes as the mother grows older and the daughter is forced to face the ticking of a very different type of biological clock: "I felt very happy to be with her. But I kind of came away feeling also kind of sad. The last couple of years, my sisters and I have talked about [the fact] that we all sort of feel this way when we're with her. It's bittersweet because she's not well, and she's almost 80. So you know you're not going to have a whole lot of [time]."

Fingerman doesn't shy away from tough topics, nor does she try to turn her portrait of the mother-daughter relationship into an extended play version of a Hallmark greeting card. The result is a book that will ring true for any adult woman who is lucky enough to have a mother who is still in good health, and who wants to find out more about the fascinating mother-daughter bond.

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Disappointing

I purchased this book months and months ago and have never completed it. I found it not to be what I had expected; it is very boring and provides little, if any, suggestions for better mother/daughter relationships.

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