1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic) | Thomas W. Phelan

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic) | Thomas W. Phelan | Thank GOD I bought this book!

books:

1-2-3 Magic: Effec...

	1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic) Thomas W. Phelan Parentmagic, Inc., 2004 - 224 pages average customer review:based on 269 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to-follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behavior with reason, patience, and compassion. Parents and teachers learn how to encourage and respect children's growing independence with 10 strategies for building self-esteem. Also discussed are the three most important qualities for parents or teachers to exhibit in order to foster competence in kids. Tips are included on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. This award-winning program discusses the importance of establishing and maintaining a home or classroom with fair and consistent discipline. This revised edition includes suggestions on how to avoid over-parenting, build children's social skills, and apply the program within mental health agencies and classrooms.

for more information click here

Negative reviewers don't get the program.

This is a simple and great technique that allows your child to keep his dignity WHILE not allowing him to manipulate others by bad behavior.
I don't hold a degree in child psychology. But, I have three grown children and one left at home. What I have to offer is practical and hands-on experience in parenting. My purpose for this review is to address the negative reviews, because I believe those who leave them do not understand the program. In the preface of the book, Dr. Phelan states that evaluation and psychological counseling are indicated BEFORE using 1 2 3 Magic if your child has a history of behavioral or emotional problems. He also states that marital conflict may interfere with the program. He goes on to say that if a parent is unable to remain calm while using the 1 2 3 method, counseling beforehand is advised. This book is for stable, loving, yet imperfect families to use. Dysfunctional families more than likely already stifle any type of communication with their children-I know this from experience. Only in this type of family is the "sit, stay, rollover" method used. I can't understand why some parents recoil in horror at this method, unless it is that they don't finish the book or attempt to grasp its' principles.
Our job as parents is, in essence, to "train" our children in proper behavior. Our job is to discipline our children, and teach them that there are outcomes to everything they do, positive or negative-just as in the adult world. For example, hitting a sibling results in a negative outcome, maybe time out or having to do something nice for the sibling who was the victim. If a child shares a cookie with his sibling, then that should naturally result in a positive outcome. The child who shared would experience that joyful feeling of doing something that is right and good. PLUS, a beaming smile from a pleased parent is priceless.
The book has a threefold purpose. All three elements must be employed for the program to work, and work it does!
The book's first purpose, as it clearly states, is to control obnoxious behaviors such as badgering, bargaining, whining, teasing, arguing, pouting, yelling, tantrums... etc, by interrupting the situation before it escalates. That is where the counting to three comes in. Honestly now, are these not the behaviors that drive us parents over the top? Do many parents not badger, bargain, yell, and degrade their children in an effort to stop the negative behavior? Anger leads to abuse. Allowing a negative situation to escalate to anger INVITES abuse. Counting to three gives the child time to think about what they are doing, and to make a choice to turn the behavior around-or not. A time out in the child's room is a result of making the wrong choice-a minute per year of the child's age is what the book suggests. A child whose behavior is out of control may need to be carried or escorted to their room. If need be, the parent may have to stand outside the door to make sure the child stays put until their time is up. What is so abusive and repugnant about that?
The second purpose of the book is to encourage positive behaviors like picking up, eating, homework, bedtime, etc. Unfortunately, I think the negative reviewers never get this far in the book. It's simple; reward your child with a smile, a hug, or a sticker for learning how to become independent by taking responsibility for their behavior. Even two year olds are able to grasp this concept. It's never too soon to start. Charts are GREAT for this. They are a visual way for a child to see the results of their efforts and behavior.
The third and last step, strengthening your relationship with your child, will be a natural outcome of doing the first two. When children feel secure and loved, and are held accountable for their behavior -corresponding of course with their age and level of maturity, then the family atmosphere will be more peaceful. Parents will enjoy parenting. Children will enjoy being children. Children need boundaries and consequences.
It's really that simple.
Dr. Phelan has books that deal with older children. The best way to avoid problems with older children is to obviously begin early. Good luck!

for more information click here

Thank GOD I bought this book!

I bought this book because one day I realized something.. I no longer like my 4 year old. Then being his mother I thought I must be a horrible, evil, disgusting person. I never looked forward to seeing him when I got off work because I knew it was going to be a fight to get him to eat his dinner, to be nice to his baby brother and to go to bed. Whining, crying, screaming, yelling, spanking. I would get so angry at him I would see stars.

One day I came to a resolution. I was on google and I typed in "Child Discipline" and I came to a page that started talking about "1-2-3 Magic". I read the reviews and thought that I HAVE to buy this book. So I did. Received it on a Friday, had it done by Sunday.

Today is Monday. We've already started the "That's 1", "That's 2" routine. My son already has it down to where he'll stop whatever "Stop Behavior" he's doing at 1. Today we're starting the step 2 portion of the book where it's about "Start Behavior". I made a chart for him to do his "chores" (brushing his teeth, eating dinner, getting ready in the mornings, etc.) so he'll be rewarded with stickers. My house is already quieter, friendly and more peaceful.

If you're at your wits end and find yourself in my situation, buy this book (BUY IT EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU NEED IT YET). If you're thinking your neighbors are going to call DCFS on you because of all the yelling that goes on, BUY IT. You won't regret it.

I know it's early but I can already see the change. I like my child again, and he likes me. We can actually sit down and enjoy each other's company again. Thank you for saving my relationship with my son!

The key to it is no emotion and no talking. The more emotion you put into it and the more words you put into disciplining your child, the more you'll confuse him/her. The no emotion is to keep you from blowing your top. That's the hardest part for me but I have hope.

There is no handbook for raising children, you don't get one when they're born. But once your precious little baby turns 2 and you start pulling your hair out (if not before then), buy this book. It's as close as you're going to get.

for more information click here

I have bought 3 copies to give to friends.....

Easy to read, funny, supportive, if you have challenging kids....you MUST try this.

This is a postitive disciple technique that does not ignore that there are times when children need limits and a loss of privelege.
I've tried many techniques which did not work when my daughter was biting, tantruming, and putting cracks in our wall (banging it) during time-outs. I started 1/2/3 Magic with her at age 4 and I am disappointed that I waited that long! It has saved our relationship and made me a much calmer mother (most of the time...) It will not create a perfect child....But, it points out that kids are a work in progress. My favorite feature of the book is that it gives you preparation for any scenario (including a child angrily taking sheets off their bed, or peeing on the floor during a time-out.)
Any child catches on and tests out a worn-out discipline tactic. Add some "tricks up your sleeve". This gives many ideas for appropriate punishments for minor or major offenses. Talks about avoiding the "argue-yell-hit" routine that many of us have encountered on a bad day.

for more information click here

SImple y efectivo

El autor trata a los nin~os como animales que deben ser domesticados. En ninguna parte se menciona la palabra amor o cariño (creo). Dicho esto, el libro presenta un metodo muy simple y eficaz para que los niños dejen de hacer algo indebido o desagradable. Tambien propone un metodo mas complejo y menos efectivo para estimularlos a que empiezen a hacer algo (como por ejemplo vestirse o irse a dormir).
El metodo funciona y los consejos y distinciones son indespensables para criar en buena forma a un niño.

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

products you might be interested in