Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening ... | John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, ... | matchmaker
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Ten Lessons to Tra...
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening ...
John M. Gottman
,
Julie Schwartz Gottman
, ...
Three Rivers Press
, 2007 - 288 pages
average customer review:
based on 9 reviews
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highly recommended
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto? made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict?with more than 90 percent accuracy?whether a
marriage
would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the
Love
Lab
research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten
Lessons
to
Transform
Your
Marriage, the Gottmans
share
this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn
their
relationship
problems around and create strong, lasting unions.
What emerged from the Gottmans? collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that?s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems?extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy?and examine what they?ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Giving an insider?s view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples? conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples? interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By ?listening? to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and?most important?how to avoid them.
Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans? work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that?s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.
From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the ?Love Lab?: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage
?We don?t feel close anymore.?
?You never talk to me.?
?We only have time for the kids.?
?All you do is work.?
?You don?t care about my dreams.?
Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldn?t be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problems?but what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties don?t have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.
In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital tools?scientifically based and empirically verified?that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You?ll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.
From the Hardcover edition.
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Practical Advice Backed by Research
As a
marriage
and family therapist, I rely most heavily on the work of John Gottman, because he is one of the only authors/
relationship
experts
who uses scientific research to identify the components of successful and unsuccessful relationships.
Ten
Lessons
To
Transform
Your
Marriage is an engaging format to present his "
Love
Lab
" research findings and related relationship advice. The ten "lessons" were presented through ten different couples, and it was easy to become engrossed in the story of each couple as they talked through
their
relationship issues. Embedded within each couple's conversation are clues about how they interact and connect, and the dynamics underlying their conflict. By following these conversations and the authors interventions, readers will learn how to uncover the deeper issues underlying ongoing conflicts, as well as how to use productive communication tools to transform relationship issues into relationship improvement and positive change.
What I like most about this book is its message that relationships can be healed and changed even in the face of significant pain, hurt and disappointment. John Gottman's work illustrates that relationship success is not just about a couple's compatibility or about never hurting each other, but instead about open, effective communication. This is a great "reality check" for all couples. This book will ideally give a lot of couples hope about how to transform their relationship problems into fulfillment and satisfaction through the right kind of communication.
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matchmaker
I bought this for my 23 year old daughter who had broken up with her boyfriend. After reading this book she realized she had made a mistake and they are seeing each other again and happier.
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
Truly a great book from a great author. From the authors of "Creating
Your
Own Way To Happiness."
10 Lessons by Gottman
I recently purchased 10
Lessons
to
Transform
your
Marriage
by John Gottman because everyone has told me what amazing communication tips it has in it. And it really does. The book explains the tips very clearly and it is communication advice that applies in a multitude of situtations.
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