Manic: A Memoir | Terri Cheney | Accurate And Hopeful

Manic: A Memoir | Terri Cheney | Best book on bipolar illness I've read

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Manic: A Memoir

	Manic: A Memoir Terri Cheney William Morrow, 2008 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 61 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Accurate And Hopeful

I've dealt with depression and a bipolar condition all of my life. When I was younger, I didn't know what it was. At that point, it just manifested itself as a heavy sadness that would hit about every six months or so and last for about a week. Unfortunately, as I grew older and got knocked about by life every so often - especially when I got hammered through no fault of my own and didn't see the reason for it, that cycle accelerated and started lasting longer.

During those intervening years, I also pushed my writing hobby (probably cathartic in the beginning) into a full-time career. Which meant that I was forced to (and still do) live primarily out of my own head. That's not always a pleasant place to be. Too many nightmares exist there. And I've learned throughout my life where all the weak points are. When I'm in a downward spiral, I attack myself unmercifully. When I'm in an upward spiral, I can't sit still.

I started figuring out my own coping mechanism, based on materials and books I'd read. But that was only after I figured out what I was going through was different than the life other people dealt with. In fact, my first clues as to what I had to face were given to me by friends that suffered from the same anxieties and pressures.

These conditions aren't easy to deal with for the person who has them. Or for the people around them.

When I first read about Terri Cheney's book, MANIC, I immediately wanted to review it. Here was a successful person who admittedly dealt with the same issues I had, but I didn't know how honest she was going to be about those problems.

After reading Cheney's book in a single sitting (because I was mesmerized at watching a train wreck in motion and thinking how similar our strategies for self-destruction were), I have to admit that I couldn't find a single pulled punch. Cheney lays her life out there for inspection and offers no apologies for it. I have to admit, in a lot of ways she had it worse than I did. I had kids at an early age and couldn't allow myself to go full-tilt down some of those dark passageways that she explored. I think they were my anchor, though I know that isn't always the case for everyone.

Chaney's book describes her failed relationships, her attempts at chemical and electroshock therapy, her moments of self-discovery, and the seeming impossibility of merely coping in ways that I immediately understood. I don't know if laymen will truly appreciate everything she's done because you have to walk a mile (or several years) in our shoes to know how huge that mountain is to navigate.

People who have never dealt with bipolar tendencies or depression, or never had to share their lives with someone that did, probably won't understand everything Cheney writes about. Even without that insight, though, she tells a compelling story. And as every bipolar person is subject to doing, she jumps around in her narrative. I'm also ADHD and I'm willing to bet Cheney is to a degree as well. That's part of the creative mind as well, and part of what allows us to function at a high level on our own.

I loved this book. It's a savage song of survival, and a rebuttal of conventional life. The average life would be a wonderful thing, but it's not attainable by everyone. Cheney's book may not celebrate that, but she acknowledges it.

Whether you read for understanding, or just a voyeuristic interest in peeking into someone else's life, MANIC is heart-wrenching and a definite gut-check for those who don't realize how good they have it. I don't know if Cheney plans any more books, but I'll definitely be in line to pick them up if she does.

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Best book on bipolar illness I've read

Another reviewer, who did not enjoy this book, asked if anyone who is actually bipolar had really liked it. Definitely! I have been diagnosed since I was 19 and have read, over the past three decades, a large number of books by doctors, therapists and, increasingly lately, patients. This one is by far the best and the most fascinating of any of the books so far.

The main thing that sets it apart is it's very well-written. It almost seems like a novel at times, though of course it's even more interesting because it's true. And yes, I do believe the strange anecdotes that Cheney retells are true. Mania can be quite an adventure. Depression can be quite a nightmare.

Telling her story in episode form, and without regard to time sequence, was a good decision. There is no need to tell this kind of tale in a standard chronological format, like a regular autobiography. What is interesting are the individual episodes, the high points and low points, and I liked the way the book jumped around to different parts of her life. It was not confusing at all.

I read the book in three days and was compelled to keep returning to it. Many of her experiences matched my own, especially dealing with bipolar illness on the job, hypersexuality, and clashes with insensitive and sometimes brutal police officers who have no training to know how to handle manics. This book simply hit a more responsive chord with me than any other memoir of this type that I have read. I kept thinking, "The same thing happened to me!"

She has a sense of humor, even about horrible memories. Plus, her intense honesty is captivating and unrelenting. She seems to hold nothing back, laying bare the details of her life even though they are painful, strange and sometimes embarrassing. You have to give her credit for opening up about all these events and feelings for the world to see. I am not sure I could.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who has the disorder, their friends and families, and everyone else who wants to understand what it really feels like to have this illness. All in all, it's a sad book because it describes her many struggles and disappointments, but it also is hopeful and encouraging, because she has lived on and triumphed. She is now helping many, many people. That is an accomplishment indeed, and a truer one than anything she could have accomplished as an entertainment lawyer.

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Extraordinary writing

Terry Cheney has written an extraordinary book. Her craft is exquisite. Her imagery touching, smart, clear, deep, intelligent and tactile. She allows you to be in her skin and she takes you on a journey like no other. For a fairly balanced Libra, I got to understand what bipolar feels like. Thank you! Being a writer myself I must confess, that I am not free of openly admitted jealousy. I wish I could write like that.

"What Fresh Hell Is This"

The title of this review is borrowed from the title of the biography of Dorothy Parker, a great poet, short story writer and critic. She was perhaps one of the most famous depressives ever to live. She tried to kill herself 3 times and failed every time. Ms. Cheney has her beat. She seems to have tried at least 5 times, and she too, failed every time.

Describing Manic-Depression or Bi-Polar disorder as the DSM-IV calls it, is a challenge. Ms. Cheney does it in a most unique manner. Instead of trying to describe the disorder, the disease, she tells how she lived her life as a manic-depressive. The story is compelling and difficult to put down once the reader starts it. It is about a 4 to 5 hour read and keeps you coming back for more every page.

Her presentation is not chronological, but it is pieces of a life, put together in an order that she remembers, not always with total clarity, but with precision of its own right. Her descriptions of how the disease affected her ability to do her job as an entertainment and intellectual property attorney is beautifully interwoven with the horror of the disease that she carried around with her every single day of her life.

Her particular brand of manic-depressive was severely debilitating and intensely bi-polar. Her manic highs were extraordinarily high and her depressive lows were incredibly low. She would sleep for days, and when she was not sleeping, she would eat and eat and eat, no matter what. She would eat baking soda by the box, coffee, cereal with no milk, anything just to fill her stomach with something that would stave off the craving for food. This is not necessarily how depressives react. Many depressives lose all appetite when they are highly depressed. Many depressives do attempt suicide, and many even succeed. But Manic-Depressives are a breed of their own. The vacillation between the two states is an excruciating existence.

The disease is more prevalent than most people realize in society today. While there is a genetic disposition for the disease, it is not always expressed in the same way as it appears in the parents or grandparents. But Ms. Cheney's version is perhaps one of the worst manifestations of the disease. As time goes on, and people become more familiar with the existence of the disorder, it comes to pass, that most people have some connection to manic-depression. If they don't have it themselves, they know someone close who does. The book is truly recommended for all people who wish to try and understand how the disease affects the life of those people afflicted with it. It is truly the best story of life with Manic-Depression that I have read ever. I highly recommend it to anyone who has it, and anyone who knows someone close who has it. It is truly a well considered and well presented piece of work.

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A memoir is a memoir is a memoir

I read this book in one sitting. It is captivating though at times strains credibility. Did a pornographically tattooed locksmith really cut her between her legs with a broken bottle and rape her, and then save her from her own suicide attempt? Did her fellow patient friend "Jesus" really insist that all genuflect when near him? While some of the details seem fanciful, nonetheless she describes a memorable journey into her bipolar world. She also exposes society's unconscionable treatment of those called "mentally ill." For example, there are the "Dr. R's" and their shock treatments, and her keepers in the jail who haven't a clue. From the sensitive hairs on her arm to the intense smells, sounds, and touch she movingly captures the manic experience. From the heaviness, the slowness, the need to remind herself to breathe she likewise captures the bipolar opposite, depression. She demonstrates amazing insight, as for example her recital of what happens when a manic person is told she is manic. I suppose it is unfair to expect more from a memoir, but her observations cry out for explanations. From intensities not unlike those experienced by fibromyalgia patients who also have low glutathione levels, to bulimic and pica-like behavior that screams out the possibility of low iron and zinc, she ignores our brains while engaging our voyeuristic impulses. She finds salvation in her acceptance of her illness without shame. As a would-be suitor informs her he would marry her in a minute were it not for her manic-depression she seems resigned that she must live with a 21st century Scarlet Letter on her chest. I would like her to meet Autumn Stringam who, in "The Promise of Hope" (available from Amazon Canada) has clearly moved beyond the bipolar identity so embraced by the author. I am glad that Harper Collins will be publishing that book soon in the United States. Perhaps those who read both memoirs can find a promise of hope rather than a recital of despair, not matter how brilliant and insightful.

David Moyer, LCSW (AK)
Author "Too Good to be True? Nutrients Quiet the Unquiet Brain"

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