He talks about power struggles and about parents who don't like to play,that are serious all the time or preoccupied and begs parents to loosen upand play with the kids. Near the end of the book he does discuss individual issues of importancesuch dealing with children's sex play, sibling rivalry, gun play, etc. Lastly, Cohen admits throughout the book that as a parent he is not perfect and that he even has to sometimes push himself to get down and play Barbie games with his daughter. He does not write with a holier-than-thou attitude. I've done a lot of reading about parenting but have never read anything as great as Cohen's theory and ideas for parenting the three-plus year old.I'm glad to see this is now out in paperback, the low paperback price will be appreciated by parents.
I am SO grateful to Dr. Cohen - he has helped me to become a much, much better parent and has given us a whole arsenal of wonderful parenting tools to help shape our children in very positive ways. If I could pick only one book on parenting and discipline, this would be it.
Here is an example of how my thinking and actions have changed since reading this book. For about two months my son was in timeout so often that as soon as he saw me giving him that look of annoyance he'd start off for the bottom step of out staircase, the" "timeout" step. He would always get the talk about being mean and because of the way I was phrasing my "lectures" he began to answer my question of "Why?" with "Because I like being mean." This really disturbed me. After reading just a few pages of PLAYFUL PARENTING I began to use new language and started suggesting reasons why he might be acting out aggressively. He embraced this new approach. I began asking things like "Are you feeling angry and a little left out because I was holding your sister?" His response was so different than the beligerent "I like being mean." He began crying, wanted to be held and would start talking about feeling sad and how he didn't want me to hold baby sister. I can say without hesitation that our lives have changed because of this book. Thank you Dr. Cohen!
So, of course it works with a toddler. I mean, the biggest problems with toddlers are changing their diapers without fits and getting them to stop throwing food off the high chair. But it also works with older kids. I've been trying the tips out on all the bigger kids at the playground and have been amazed at the results. It's basically just reframing the way you see kids and what their motivations are.
Some reviewers have commented that Cohen talks too much about what he's done. Well, of course he has! He's a therapist who uses play. By telling his own stories about what he's done with clients and with his own daughter, it gives you examples of how to think on your feet and figure out what a kid needs without being a therapist yourself.
I have been recommendiing this book to every I know, even people who aren't parents but just interact with kids. I just think that if everyone who deals with kids could read this book it would make everything so much easier and more fun for the adults *and* the kids. And that we'd all have closer connections with our family members. So this is going to be my standard gift for people having children from now on. It's definitely worth the money.
