Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate...

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You | Susan Forward, Donna Frazier | Emotional Blackmail

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Emotional Blackmai...

	Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Harper Paperbacks, 1998 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 68 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

A must read for any victim of blackmail

The author does a great job in detailing the many overt and covert ways of the emotional blackmailer, as well as provides many real life examples of her clients as to how they relate to the different types of blackmail.

Personally, I bought this book after I had left the woman I was involved with, whom I believe to be a narcissist. I knew something was wrong and at first I couldn't put my finger on it, which is normal in the infancy stages of blackmail. As time passed, it all came into focus and I realized that this woman's personality was not going to change and that I could not fix her so I saved what self-esteem and dignity I had left and left the relationship. The author does a great job explaining how a person's behavior can change, but their personality usually does not. That is unless however you can get the blackmailer and/or narcissist into therapy. Even then you still face dismal odds of that person changing. While the basis of this book was to deal with the blackmailer currently in your life, I used it as a reference to further reinforce why my decision to leave my relationship was the right move; and it did just that.

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Emotional Blackmail

If you have ever wondered why you always feel that something is your fault...if you've always felt it is just easier to shut up and put up....if you have ambivalent feelings towards certain people in your life but somehow think that there is something wrong with you.....you need to read this book. It brings a whole new meaning to the word enlightening.

Amazing. . .

I am currently being given THE SILENT TREATMENT by my mother. I am desperate for help.I am not much of a reader and was skeptical about ordering this book. I ordered it. It is amazing. I read it in 2 days and it addressed so many issues going on in my life centering around my emotional blackmailer. I can truly say this book is the most helpful information that I could have hoped for. It has given me understanding and possibilities for reclaiming my integrity and happiness. It has given me the tools for constuctively dealing with negative and controlling people in my life. I asked the universe for help and thankfully this book came my way. Thank you Susan!

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I liked this book

I liked this book. I read it from cover to cover in just a couple of days. She really identified all those things we feel inside when someone manipulates us. I've always felt guilty and silly for being so scared of my mother. Reading this book validated my feelings and also gave me ways to try to start dealing with all the things I feel inside -- a combination of fear, guilt, and self-doubt. I especially liked what she had to say about feeling discomfort and how we'll do anything to avoid it. It was that section, along with a few other things she said, that helped me not give in to something I have been giving into for years and years. Reading this book gave me the strength to hold on and let the discomfort pass regarding an issue I've been having with my mother ever since I can remember. It's nothing horrible, it's a small issue, but it's been a burden on me for a long time. I don't think it's resolved and gone forever, but it is the first time in my 36 years I stood up to it, ignored the discomfort, and stuck to my guns. We'll see what happens, but even having done that has made me feel more relaxed and less obligated. I think everyone can benefit from reading this book.

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Recommended...with Reservations

This is an exceptionally helpful book that everyone should read (because who hasn't been manipulated by fear, obligation, and/or guilt at one time or another?).

The one, and only, problem I have with this book is that the author recommends that the target of emotional blackmail say, "I'm sorry you're upset" to the blackmailer. Unfortunately, many folks take the words "I'm sorry" to be an admission of guilt, and therefore this response is inappropriate in most cases (in my humble opinion).

The author does give other more useful possible responses to emotional blackmail, such as "I can understand how you might see it that way," and "Let's talk when you're feeling calmer."

Overall, the book is great. Best of all, it gives the reader an action plan to deal with emotional blackmail.

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