Playful Parenting | Lawrence J. Cohen

Playful Parenting | Lawrence J. Cohen | this book is awesome

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Playful Parenting

	Playful Parenting Lawrence J. Cohen Ballantine Books, 2002 - 320 pages average customer review:based on 43 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Back into the GAME

I am 40 & have a son 6. I find that I love to watch him play, but I had trouble stopping my "things I had to get done" and getting "down & dirty" with him. We spent lots of time in "parallel play" --me doing my thing in the same room with him doing his because we both got a bit bored with each other's games. (For example, he loves creating magnetix structures & I love jigsaw puzzles.)

This book seeks to help you give YOURSELF permission to let your guard down & enjoy your children on their own level. It's very rewarding & we're having much more interesting games. Sometimes we make up the rules (something I didn't do much before because "it wasn't how you're supposed to do it"!) But what I learned was that if I'd play by his rules on occasion, he'd agree to play by mine (the "right ones"). Often, his rules are more fun! Who knew! Now we jump on the bed together sometimes & I've learned that my grandmother was wrong -- it IS fun to play in the mud and we're all washable!

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this book is awesome

I am so glad I found this book in a local library. However, it is so chock full of ideas to use that I think I need to buy it, because my child is just a baby now and I need to remember the many ideas as she grows. I will be re-reading it often I can tell. There's a lot in this book, all helpful, and especially touching is his advice on what not to do. As a child, my parents thought locking me in my room was good discipline. I don't forget that and needless to say our relationship is not good to this day. It's hard reading this book because my parents did a lot of the things he highlights as things to avoid, and I have to put the book down often because it's too much to digest emotionally. I wish I had had an ideal childhood, but this insightful book can help me ensure that I don't repeat those mistakes. I'm very thankful I came across it.

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I love this book, learn to romp with your kids!

I've always thought wrestling with your kids was good, and I was very glad to find a book that actually agreed and gave explanations for why this is so. It truly helps with teaching about giving people space, being gentle and sharing; my son is one of the most non-confrontational in his playgroup, and I know it's in part because of the things we've taught him from this book. I love it!

I'm all business

...at least I feel that way sometimes. At first I felt kind of silly buying this book, but I definitely am happy that I did - I have added it to a small list of books that provide useful parenting tools to me. I have this amorphous idea in my head about what kind of a mommy I want to be (I have a 17 month old son, and we're trying for the next one), but very little in the way of role models and examples to help flesh out that picture. This book is helping me to "get over myself" and be less business like. It has helped me strike a balance between the everyday routine and rituals that are really important for our sanity and the spontaneity that punctuates our day with joy, belly laughs and squeals. It will definitely grow with us, too!

One thing that really opened my eyes is the idea of undesirable behavior (hitting, biting, or even just anger) as a sort of ham-handed way for your toddler to try to connect with you. The language of answering a hit or some other behavior with a response that lets them know that you "heard" what they are really trying to tell you was fantastic. An example: my son has started going to school 2 mornings a week and is kind of going through a difficult time when I pick him up. When I used the technique from the book, I looked into his eyes and said, "I missed you, too and I am so glad we're together again" I swear he understood what I was saying, and it calmed him. Just as I learned a long time ago that babies' only way of expressing themselves is through crying, I realize now that my son still doesn't have the words to tell me how he really feels, so visceral expressions just make sense to him. I hope that this helps him put words to what he is feeling for the future.

I think that for new parents and parents of toddlers, especially, but also older children that the chapter entitled "Accept Strong Feelings (theirs and yours)" is actually a serious chapter with a lot of meat to help learn how to express and feel emotions, and deal with them in a healthy way.

5 stars because I was pleasantly surprised - even the material that seemed like it's been dealt with before is viewed in a refreshing new, playful way.

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