The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby |...

The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby | William Sears, Martha Sears | A must-read for every new mother

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The Attachment Par...

	The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby William Sears, Martha Sears Little, Brown and Company, 2001 - 224 pages average customer review:based on 48 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Wish I would have gotten this BEFORE having the baby

This book was GREAT! I wish I would have purchased this before having the baby. Instead I purchased it 3 months after having the baby after I had read a lot of other nonsense from other "experts". This book really made a lot of sense in that it treats having a baby/child more like a LIFESTYLE (which having children is a change in lifestyle). The other books I read seemed to be treating the baby like a nuisance or inconvenience rather than a human life. This book really helped me to relax and get away from the idea of schedule or routine with the baby and go more with the flow of treating the baby like a person with her own needs rather than a dog to train to be on a schedule.

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A must-read for every new mother

Thank you Dr. Sears! Attachment parenting has been around since the beginning of time, but we have Dr Sears to thank for bringing it to the forefront of discussion with the many books he has published, which all rally around the belief in AP. This is a must-read for first-time moms, as well as a great book for moms with children. With how our society pushes mothers to create independence in our children from the second they are born, telling us if we don't they will be clingy, whiny brats with the inability to allow us mothers to go on with our own independent lives, Dr. Sears brings us back to the importance of holding, loving and nursing our children, impressing upon us how these are CHILDREN who NEED their parents. I've read this book and now purchased it as a babyshower gift.

I've read this, as well as other Dr. Sears books, and have been a firm follower in AP (all mothers do it to an extent). My daughter has slept in our bed since she came home from the hospital (which I said I'd never do), she was breastfed until 2 1/2 (which I said I'd do for only a year) and she has been carried every chance she had. As a result (at 3 1/2), she is one of the most independent, self-disciplined, empathetic, funny and well-behaved children you will ever meet. Please go on and read Dr. Sears' books on discipline and raising a succesful child. My success as a parent has been due to Dr. Sears sharing his philsophy that "discipline" means much more than "punishment".

All I've really done is follow my instincts. However, Dr. Sears helped me to put some of my instincts to action and helped me to understand why some of the parenting advice out there, that went against my mothering instincts, was not the right option. My friends who formula fed, let their children cry it out in their cribs and spank couldn't understand why their children where having throw-down kicking and screaming fits by the time they were two. Afterall, those are practices that society tells us is best. These mothers didn't realize they weren't listening to their children. Thank you Drs. Sears!

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Very validating!

I bought this book when I started to learn about "babywearing" your baby in a sling. I have a preterm, high-need infant that was constantly crying unless she was held (if she was held she was perfect). I didn't mind holding her all the time, but I needed to get other things done as well. She wasn't gaining weight properly due to excessive calorie loss from crying, thus started the baby wearing. I must mention that she is breasfed and also sleeps with me (hubby sleeps separatly for now) and that I'm a stay at home mom. This book encourages a very hands-on type of parenting, and I can imagine that it's not for everyone (though it should be)! Dr. Sears really understands infants needs from a physiological as well as psychological point of view, and all his reasonings made perfect sense to me. When I bought the book I was already using most of the tools he recommends for this type of parenting out of instinct, and this book provided validation to me that I was doing things "right". I had met with a lot of negative input from various family members about 'spoiling' and 'crying it out' neither of which I could really agree with. If you believe in crying it out, this book is not for you! However if you yearn for a deep connection and very strong bond with your baby I strongly recommend this book both as a mother and a nurse. My 31 week preterm baby has now gained an appropriate amount of weight and is a totally different baby from when I brought her home after a two month hospital stay and I attribute this to reading (then implementing) Attachment Parenting.

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Decide for yourself about attachment parenting

Before I read this book, "attachment parenting" was just a phrase I'd heard thrown around--with good and bad connotations. This book explains the principles of attachment parenting, the benefits of it, and the challenges. When I reach a time in my life where I'm ready to have a baby, I am definitely going to try out some of these techniques. I already knew I was going to try breastfeeding for at least a year, but now I'll add to that trying out the baby sling and bed sharing.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who's heard about attachment parenting (especially if all you've heard is other peoples' opinions). Read this book and decide for yourself what parenting style you'd like to try.

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Important to interpret non-dogmatically

I read many Attachment Parenting books, including this one, before my daughter was born and was planning on implementing all the suggestions to the letter. My newborn daughter had her own opinions! The only thing that worked for us was the breastfeeding, and I breastfed her for 19 mo. She hated the sling, much to my disappointment, as I had had visions of carrying her in the sling while going about my daily chores. She preferred to be held in my arms or ride in the stroller! As for the "family bed" --she was never able to sleep more than 1.5 hrs at a time while sleeping with me, but when I gradually transitioned her to a crib at 6 weeks, she started sleeping 3 hrs at a stretch. She recently turned 2, and over the last 2 years I've tried bringing her back to bed with us with no success. She just prefers to sleep on her own. I struggled with many feelings of confusion and frustration with Attachment Parenting until I realized that I am incredibly attached to my daughter! We are extremely bonded to each other. And this bond was not shaken in the least when I chose to let her cry to sleep at 12 months. She did not become clingy or fearful, and in fact, her mood and behavior improved noticeably because she was getting better sleep.

My point is this: If following the "letter of the law" of Attachment Parenting works for you, then great! But let's not make Attachment Parenting into a dogmatic religion. I've encountered a tremendous amout of judgemental and intolerant attitudes from AP types, which baffles me. I was even censored by Mothering.com for telling my cry-to-sleep story.

My daughter is a happy, secure, confident, empathetic, very social, and very intelligent toddler who proves wrong anyone who says the only way to raise a child is to follow the letter of the AP law. Take what works for you and let's please try not to be judgemental of our fellow parents! AP parents tend to be very intelligent and progressive people--why then so much dogmatism?

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