Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool | Hal Edward Runkel | Great book, not just for parenting relationships!

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Screamfree Parenti...

	Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool Hal Edward Runkel Broadway, 2007 - 240 pages average customer review:based on 80 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

uncommon common sense

Runkel brings common sense back to the parenting scene by reminding parents that they are parents and that they are in charge. Their job is not to be lifelong caregivers or lifelong friends, but just parents. It brought to minds something Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo) said over half a century ago: "The responsibility of parents is to raise children who don't need parents." In this age of helicopter parents, Runkel's book helps bring parenting back to earth with its well grounded information and advice.

Great book, not just for parenting relationships!

I first saw this author on the Today show. I liked his advice and bought his book. It was very helpful for our family. We have a 15 year old, a 7 year old, and a 2 year old. I think this book's advice helps in other relationships as well, work, family, friends... Read it - not just for short tempered people. Also great for the parent who gives in too much or the people pleaser... Very helpful advice.

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What a revelation, parenting is about parental behavior.

I could not agree more with the author, that the best thing you can do for your children is to bring yourself under control. I have mentored dozens of teenagers over many years through the church, and I have encountered many of their parents, who were out of control during that time. I never really made the connection between the screaming, out of control and unpredicatable behavior of the parent and the angry, depressed, confused and insecure teenagers who lived with them, but now it makes sense. I have always advocated self-control to these parents, but it seems to fall on deaf ears, because it was just me talking from my own experience with my parents, who were always under self-control. I actually had one parent tell me recently that it was her job as a parent to "control her children", and if they were out of control, that meant she was a "bad parent". I told her, with that definition of parenting it was no wonder that there was severe daily conflict in the house with her fifteen and seventeen year old sons.

The author correctly points out that her model of parenting was faulty. She could not possibly succeed in "controlling" her teenage boys without forcing them to give up using their brains and stay forever in the kindergarten thinking mode. I plan to give copies of the book to her and other parents. Hopefully, they will take the time to read the book and put its principles into practice. That will certainly make my job a lot easier.

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Good Book, worth the read

I still have a few chapters to go in this book. I have a 3-yr old and a 2-yr old and a lot of it isn't related to their age group right now. It is helpful in learning to control yourself instead of trying to control your child's--Hal explains it better than I do. It would work in any relationship, not just for your kids. Worth the read. I still yell at my boys from time to time, but I am getting better!

Obedience training might work for dogs, not appropriate for humans

This is a very good and thoughtful book. It is not a method of discipline, and Runkel is very critical of methods that promise an end to familial difficulties. Such methods may teach obedience, but they do not help children to grow into self-directed adults capable of making good choices on their own.

Instead, Runkel emphasizes that parents need to control their own behavior first. Yelling at children --or the flipside, detaching emotionally --not only doesn't work, it actually backfires. When the parent is in control of her/himself, a better relationship with the child is possible. Reflection questions after each section are wonderful for stimulating thought about how you feel about your children, your own experiences as a child, your hopes and dreams for your children, etc.

This book is definitely recommended for those who cherish a connected, mutually respectful relationship with their children rather than instant obedience.

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